At the start of a new semester, the president of a large university advised his students: "We will all fail. More than once. Every day." Not exactly the inspiring pep talk they may have expected. But then he added: "My plea for you today is to learn how to fail successfully."¹

He recounted a failure from his own background as a young lawyer, when a partner at his firm pointed out errors in a document he had carefully prepared. The criticism hurt, but he reworked the document and solved the problem. The law partner then shared this wise counsel: "Good judgment comes from experience. And experience comes from bad judgment."²

Of course, no one seeks out failure, but no one can completely avoid it either. So we may as well learn from it. In fact, it could be said that if we're not failing from time to time, we're not learning all that we can. A child who doesn't fall—a lot—never learns how to walk. A dancer, athlete, writer, or singer who never stumbles or makes mistakes never improves and never achieves greatness.

The key is the way we react to our setbacks and failures. Instead of becoming frustrated, ashamed, or discouraged, we can choose to go forward with new experience, broader perspective, better judgment, and renewed determination. We may continue to fail, but we can ensure that when we do, we fail forward.

The road of life is not a smooth highway paved with happiness and success. Potholes and detours along the way are meant to teach us and enrich our experience, if we are willing to learn from them. This is what it means to fail successfully—to not let life's failures set us back but propel us forward.

1. Kevin J. Worthen, in Valerie Johnson, "Learn to Fail Successfully, BYU President Tells Students," LDS.org Church News, Jan. 13, 2015, http://www.lds.org/church/news/learn-to-fail-successfully-byu-president-tells-students.
2. In Valerie Johnson, "Learn to Fail Successfully."

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One of Mark Twain's stories tells of an artist, George Sterling, who finds most of humanity - other than himself - rather uninteresting. Self-absorbed in his own career and interests, he takes little notice of the people around him.

But then George starts painting portraits of the very people he considers dull and commonplace. As his subjects gradually open up to him, he learns their stories, gets to know them from the inside, and comes to the realization that “a [person's] experiences of life are a book. There was never yet an uninteresting life,” he concludes. “Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.”¹

Sometimes, as the saying goes, you can't judge a book by its cover. A rough exterior might just be hiding a loyal, tender heart. A shy or reserved demeanor often belies profound feelings and insightful perspectives on life. Every life story has its chapters of heartache and difficulty, along with moments of sheer joy and good humor. And the best part is, a new chapter is being written every day.

But the only way to know that is to take the time and effort to truly get to know a person. That man you see walking down the street bravely served his country during a war; he has a family, and he's looking for work - he has a story to tell. That woman waiting in line in front of you runs a small business, sings in a choir, and volunteers in her son's elementary school - she has a story to tell. Old, young, and everyone in between has a story.

So listen, ask questions, be patient, and open your heart with genuine interest in another's journey of life. As their stories unfold, not only will you find them to be more fascinating than you may have thought, but you may also find a new friend - and that will enrich your life story too.

1. “The Refuge of the Derelicts,” in The Devil's Race-Track: Mark Twain's Great Dark Writings, ed. John S. Tuckey (1966), 317.

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In 1753 the British government, with its heavy hand on the American colonies, put Benjamin Franklin in charge of the colonial postal system north of Maryland. Postage prices were assessed by the mile in those days, and Franklin’s fellow colonists were suspicious that the British were overcharging.

Franklin determined to find out. He set out on the Boston Post Road, then known as the King’s Highway. Attached to his carriage was a homemade odometer that counted the rotations of the wheels. Every mile, a stake was driven into the ground and a crew followed behind placing stone markers at each stake. These literal milestones were among the first in the United States.

Today, milestones measure more than distance; they have become a cultural symbol of the passage of life. They mark significant moments, experiences, transitions, and changes. These milestones may not be as tangible as stone markers by the side of the road, but they are indeed a measure of our journey.

What are the milestones in your life? For some it may be college graduation and the start of a career. For others, milestones include the birth of a grandchild, the death of a loved one, a health challenge, a new neighborhood, a disappointment in love or family, a conversation that gives vision and purpose, or simply planting a beautiful garden.

Milestones help us look back and see our progress; they help us look forward with faith and determination. They give us something to strive for and remind us that we aren’t done yet. Sometimes we don’t recognize a milestone until long after we’ve passed it. And many of our milestones are yet to be set along our life’s path.

Benjamin Franklin’s life was full of milestones, and many of them became his country’s milestones. So he spoke from personal experience when he said, “Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning.” May our personal milestones give meaning and perspective not only to our successes but also to the occasional bumps and detours - to every mile of the journey of life.

1. See Truday Tynan, “Milestones of History,” Toledo Blade, Sept. 19, 2004, F12.
2. In Ann Kannings, comp., Benjamin Franklin: Life and Words (ebook, 2014).

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If you knew that this was your last day on earth - that tomorrow your life would end - what would you do today? Most people would probably not try to squeeze in one more day at the office or one last television program. More than likely, you would spend most of the day trying to reach the people who are dear to you, simply to say, one last time, "I love you."

Those three words "I love you" are perhaps the most important words in our language. Of course, they mean something only if they are backed up by authenticity and actions. But the words themselves are important too. So many people go through the day or week or even the year and rarely hear those three simple words. We all need to know that we are loved, that we matter to someone, that we have a place in another's heart. This is what gives us confidence to face the cold world; it is what makes us feel alive.

How many relationships could begin to heal with a sincere expression of love? How many broken hearts could start to mend? How many marriages or families could be strengthened by the intentional choice to say - both in deeds and in words - "I love you"?

Perhaps we think our loved ones surely must know how we feel about them. But they need to hear it. Flowery, poetic, or lengthy language is not necessary. Those three simple words are usually just enough.

Their power lies in their straightforward purity. "I love you" includes no caveats, no conditions, no limitations. It gives no explanation or justification. It simply declares to one heart what another heart feels.

When the end of our life does come, we may feel some regret about the things we didn't accomplish or the goals we didn't achieve, but we will never regret our expressions of genuine love. So why wait for our final day? Tell someone, "I love you" today.

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Feeling genuinely happy for another person’s good fortune may be one of the truest marks of authentic goodness and real friendship. Surprisingly, it sometimes seems easier to find someone who will weep with us during our hard times than to find someone who will rejoice with us in our successes. Most people are compassionate and caring toward those who suffer, but a special quality manifests itself in those who are genuinely happy for the good fortune of others. Some have called this quality an “abundance mentality”—the conviction that life is full of good fortune, that there’s plenty of happiness to go around, and that one person’s joy does not deplete the supply for everyone else. Those with such abundant hearts do not feel threatened or jealous when someone seems to be winning at the race of life, because they know that life is not a race. They measure success in life not by how many people they surpass but by how many people they lift. They feel that every man or woman’s triumph is a victory for us all, and this generosity of spirit gives them peace and contentment. Life can be unsettling enough; turning it into a competition only makes us feel less secure. So how can we overcome the human tendency to count wins and losses? How can we enlarge our hearts to make room for joy in the successes of others? Perhaps the answer lies in looking beyond life’s mundane, fleeting things and intentionally holding on to a larger perspective—the big picture. This may help us see that we are not victims, that things will eventually work out for us, and that the things that really matter—like peace, love, and real joy—are truly everlasting. We will see that withholding a compliment or congratulations does not make us happier. Simply stated, when we choose to have an abundant heart, when we decide to cheer for others, we just feel better. Our circumstances may not change, but our heart does. We are blessed with more serenity when we rejoice with those who rejoice. Indeed, happiness for others’ successes nurtures happiness within ourselves.

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Always there have been struggles-for individuals and for groups. But for each struggle, there are always men and women who rise above the ugly and the combative and make the world a better place-people whose greatness seems a perfect match for the challenge of the day.

An outstanding example of this truth is Jackie Robinson, the first African American to play Major League Baseball in the modern era.

Perhaps no one other than Jackie himself will ever know how much courage this stand for civil rights required. Though he had many supporters, he was also heckled and even threatened by fans. Some opposing pitchers aimed for his head. Baserunners aimed their spikes at his legs. Even some teammates shunned him. One sportswriter called Jackie Robinson “the loneliest man I’ve ever seen in sports.”¹

But Jackie knew that if he retaliated it could spell disaster for the dream of ending racial segregation. So he suffered in dignified silence. His athleticism caught the attention of baseball fans, but it was his moral strength that caught the attention of another man who believed in nonviolence: Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

King said of Robinson: “He underwent the trauma and the humiliation and the loneliness which comes of being a pilgrim walking the lonesome byways toward the high road of Freedom. He was a sit-inner before sit ins, a freedom rider before freedom rides. And that is why we honor him.”² Truly, he was the right man for the time.

Today, Jackie Robinson’s uniform number, 42, has been retired by all major league teams. And every year on Jackie Robinson Day, all players, coaches, managers, and umpires wear 42 in honor of his contributions-not just to baseball but to the freedom of the nation.

The epitaph on Jackie Robinson’s tombstone reads, “A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives.” This, after all, is how the world is changed: one life at a time. And this is a contribution we can all make.

1. Jimmy Cannon, in Arnold Ampersand, Jackie Robinson: A Biography(1997), 172.
2. In Ampersand, Jackie Robinson, 7.

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In many ways, life gets better with age - sometimes surprisingly so. The common belief is that a person’s overall sense of well-being goes downhill as he or she gets older, but researchers are finding - and many older people themselves are discovering - that this is not necessarily the case.

For example, as we age, wisdom and understanding can flourish. Intelligence can develop and expertise can deepen, which can enhance creativity and productivity. Friendships can become more meaningful as the passing years teach us to prioritize what matters most. One Stanford University professor said, “Contrary to the popular view that youth is the best time of life, the peak of emotional life may not occur until well into the seventh decade.”¹ While youth may have advantages, good things can come with age.

Of course, growing older has its share of challenges and difficulties. And, if we continue to live, we’ll each get there. So how can we turn this remarkable season of life into truly “golden” years?

Perhaps one suggestion is to focus more on what we can do than on what we cannot do. Age does come with limitations, but we all can do something. It doesn’t have to be grand or monumental to be worthwhile. We can look for small and simple ways to reach out to others - make a phone call, send a note, extend a helping hand, or show interest in another’s life. We can learn something new - go to a museum, listen to an audiobook that stretches our mind a bit, or take up a new interest or hobby. We can look for opportunities to share our lived experience and acquired knowledge.

In other words, we can resolve to live life in crescendo, ever growing and always serving. Time will pass, no matter how we spend it - so let’s make the most of the time we’ve been given and live our days well.

1. Laura Carstensen, in Anne Tergesen, “Why Everything You Think about Aging May Be Wrong,” Wall Street Journal, Nov. 30, 2014, http://www.wsj.com/articles/why-everything-you-think-about-aging-may-be-wrong-1417408057.

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